Bleak skies.
sun in hiding.
A deluge
I despair.
The west coast is parched and burning
here
I fear
the rain.
Complicated convolutions
convolvulus binds and bends
Blue beauty only lasts
(Well into the day)
While
Bright sun
held at bay
The mind can be incredibly protective. early warning systems hell bent on survival aren’t best at finesse.
Survival at any cost easily takes the reins.
It’s taken me a long time and a lot of work to appreciate how my mind altered due to trauma.
There are many difficult stages one can’t really skip. Finding safety has to come first. That’s much harder in this world.
My clever mind spent decades devising the means for survival but the one I never suspected would help the most was curiosity.
Curiosity just so happens to be my very top character trait .
It was curiosity that led me to ‘ look for the good’ in times of devastation. Not the silver lining, not the things that remained, or things gained.
If I had to find a metaphor it would be in the way the earth became richer when rivers seasonally flooded their banks , or the way windstorms weed out weaker tall trees to give sun to their progeny, and naturally occurring grass fires create the most abundant prairies. The good that would not be possible without the destruction.
We visited a garden center despite the overcast, windy rain. Yet another tropical disturbance. Beta is set to become a hurricane. We missed the worst of Laura and Sally, Beta doesn’t seem much of a threat to us.
I’m not aware if my old fear of loss and chaos due to flood is preying on my mind. I can’t really be spending my time thinking on it, it goes nowhere.
Typically September in the south means most plants have bolted to seed, become leggy or are going dormant. Very little fall color unless we get an unusually cold night or two. It’s bleak in an abandoned parking lot kind of way.
All along the edge of the garden center is a drainage canal. It’s sides filled with the wild trees and shrubs.
We went to see if an unusual lizard we saw last time was around, or an alligator in the water. What we saw instead took our breath away.
Blue. Stunning ultraviolet and electric blue. The morning glory covered in open flowers. Open in mid afternoon because of
The rain.
